


Prompts Via My Reviewers (Homestuck Edition)

by Rubicksmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:13:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubicksmaster/pseuds/Rubicksmaster
Summary: An in depth run down can be found in chapter 1,  but this is a bunch of short stories composed by me, suggested by you.





	1. Introduction

Update Schedule:  
\- tba 

*deep inhale*

Hi. It's me, ya girl Rubicks. This is something I did when I was 13 and god awful at writing. Now I'm 18 and okay at writing. And holy shit the writer's block is real. I have plenty of ideas, don't get me wrong, but long chapters and follow through is a big bitch. That's where you guys come in.

Send in prompts in the reviews. Literally, I'll do anything. Okay, well, not anything, but nothing comes to mind as to what I'll refuse, so that will be something I update as we move along. If I come across a suggestion I'm not comfortable with, I'll let that reviewer know, and then update this chapter to include restrictions on suggestions. This chapter will also include a list of upcoming chapters. That way, y'all know what to expect, and you can rest assured that I saw your suggestion. Prompts will be labelled in the chapter titles in the format of a concise prompt summary followed by the name of the reviewer.

Now, I know what you guys are thinking. "Rubicks, you beautiful fiend, you brilliant fool, if you are too busy to stick to a regular update schedule for stories you have written, how can we entrust you with our base desires?" Great question, my loves. I will be writing these from my phone, which is always on me, as opposed to my laptop. Also, they will be shorter and disconnected. Also, nobody reads my current stories, so it feels arduous to update something for nobody. Here, however, I have people depending on me.

With all of that covered, let us begin. Send in your suggestions. <3


	2. Davekat symbiote au

Chapter 1: Davekat Symbiote au, davekat ship, dave karkat main characters

EAT THAT.

“No, fuck you,” Dave breathed, wary of the people around him. Dallas was too crowded for him to have this shitbag stuck with him 24/7. Then again, any city was too crowded to be talking to himself in public. He couldn’t up and leave, though. He grew up in Dallas and wrote columns about media to the hipster kids that were ingrained in the city’s culture; he wouldn’t find work that good in some suburb where he could be alone.

WHY NOT? IT’S A BARKBEAST; THOSE THINGS WERE MADE FOR EATING!

Dave slipped off his sunglasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “For the last time, this isn’t your gross alien planet.”

THIS SHIT HOLE IS THE ALIEN PLANET.

“No, if you’re on the new planet, you’re the alien. We’ve been over this, for fuck’s sake.” 

I DON’T CARE IF WE’VE BEEN OVER IT, YOU’RE WRONG. I’M THE SUPERIOR SPECIES, SO YOU GUYS ARE THE ALIENS, AND WE ARE TAKING YOU THE FUCK OVER. WHO’S THE ALIEN THEN, HUH? IF IT’S OUR CONQUERED PLANET?

Dave did his best to keep a neutral face as he tried to tune out Karkat and order coffee. The two had been bonded for a week now; Dave had been unfortunate enough to stumble upon the bright red slime in a vacant alley. It was pulsing and steaming hot, and it sounded like it was screaming. Then it leapt out and latched onto his arm. Dave screamed as it molded over him, turning him into something else before vanishing under his skin and leaving a loud, annoying voice in his head.

He thanked the barista and started walked back to his apartment building, putting his headphones in to better hear Karkat. He would prefer to talk to literally anyone else, but Karkat’s voice was a constant, and it was easier to focus on that than try to multitask.

YOU HUMANS ARE PUNY AND PATHETIC. ALTERNIA WILL CONQUER YOU WITH EASE.

“Okay, buddy.”

I AM NOT YOUR HUMAN ‘BUD.’ I AM A PILOT FOR YOUR SHITTY FLESHY BODY.

“Says the alien whose physical form is an amorphous blob of slime.”

I AM NOT THE ALIEN.

Dave rolled his eyes. He lived on the top floor of the apartment building, in a small unit that closely resembled a dorm room. His clothes were scattered around and trash littered the floor. The only tidy area was his desk, which was where he wrote album and movie reviews. His collection of albums and movies was considerably less tidy.

I’M HUNGRY, DAVE.

“We just had coffee, we’re fine,” he replied, relishing being able to speak freely in his apartment.

COFFEE TASTES AWFUL AND OFFERS NO SUSTENANCE. I AM FUCKING HUNGRY. EAT SOMETHING. YOU HAVE BURGERS IN THE MEAL VAULT.

“I’ll cook burgers, but it’s called a refrigerator. Meal vault is stupid.”

YOU’RE STUPID. SHUT UP.

Dave went to his fridge and took the frozen burgers out of the freezer. He set a pan on the stovetop and pulled out two patties. Then he took a large bite out of one of them and swallowed, despite how neither of them had defrosted.

“Hey Karkat?”

YES?

“What the fuck was that?

I WAS HUNGRY AND YOU GAVE ME FOOD FOR ONCE, YOU USELESS GOGDAMN MORON.

“You just made me ingest raw fucking meat! Why in the fresh hell would you do that? I don’t want fucking salmonella!”

I DON’T KNOW WHAT SALMONELLA IS BUT IT SOUNDS DUMB AND STUPID IN A VERY HUMAN WAY. I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH. YOU’LL BE FINE. 

Dave hit his head against the freezer door. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

NO!

A sharp pain started in Dave’s head. He yelped and fell to his knees. He felt the top of his head, letting out soft cries of pain as he felt ridged nubs grow out of his skull. His sunglasses fell to the ground and his hair turned black before his eyes. His hands were turning gray, morphin into giant claws, and he screamed, the pain now searing, blinding, blocking out every thought. His body stood up and was a foot taller and much heavier. Hardened pieces of skin, almost a shell, had formed up and down his arms, his legs, his chest and back. His tongue, now longer, flicked over sharpened, elongated teeth.

what the fuck was that

He couldn’t speak. He was trying, but his body wasn’t his anymore. In a loud, rasping voice, he heard, “I’m hungry, Dave!”

karkat what the fuck did you… what did you do

“This is my form.” He was rummaging through the freezer for the hamburgers. He ripped open the box and crammed the frozen meat into his mouth.

jesus calm down thats my stomach youre filling with raw meat

“You’ll be fine,” Karkat replied through the ground beef in his mouth. From outside, Dave heard a scream.

hey what was that 

“Who cares?”

i care but youre in charge of my hot bod so go check it out its outside

“Your human body is not hot and I refuse to listen to an inferior species.”

if you help ill buy you chocolate

Dave had found out that Karkat had a massive sweet stuff for chocolate, and he knew he hit the sweet spot when Karkat slammed the freezer door shut and said, “Fine.”

woah woah what the fuck are you doing

“What you asked,” Karkat growled, crawling out of the window. Before Dave could scream, Karkat jumped, and they fell eleven stories. Somehow, his body absorbed the shock just fine, and he approached the alley. A teenager, just a kid, was being beat up by two older guys.

thats fucked up bro go rough them up

Karkat let out a loud growl and everyone looked at him. The teen screamed and hauled ass to get the fuck out of there. The older guys were locked to the ground. Karkat let out a scream, more of a battle cry than anything else, and charged at the two guys. One of them jerked to life and pulled up his arm. He was holding onto a long pipe, and he held it up like a baseball player to take a swing at Karkat’s head. He caught it with his claw and pinched down, snapping it in half. He opened his mouth and Dave felt their jaw open unnaturally wide, and he was grateful he wasn’t in control as Karkat bit hard onto the man’s neck. The other man was long gone now, and blood was spilling onto the pavement.

hey uh what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck karkat jesus christ let him go holy shit thats so much blood fuck fuck fuck

Karkat dropped the man to the ground and said, “Jegus, fine, calm your shit, Dave.” The man was screaming now, clutching wound as it gushed blood. “If I ate him he wouldn’t be a problem.”

holy fuck no just get back up to the apartment and let me take over again

“Fine.” Leaving the man to bleed out in the alley, Karkat began to climb up the building, sinking his claws into the brick and almost galloping up the walls. He climbed back in through the window and Dave felt them shrinking, and soon his body was his again, and he looked normal. 

“Hey, what the fuck?” he asked, flopping onto the couch. He wasn’t in pain, but there was a tangy, metallic taste in his mouth that he was trying to ignore. 

I TOLD YOU YOU’RE THE INFERIOR RACE. TROLLS CAN LATCH ONTO A HOST AND TEMPORARILY TAKE OVER THEIR BODY. WATCH.

Dave felt his hand morph again, far less painful this time. His hand was covered in a thick carapace now and it resembled a large crab claw. “Woah.”

I KNOW. IT MUST BE FUCKING AWESOME TO YOUR SCRAWNY SPECIES.

It was. “Nah, it’s crazy because, like, there’s these little dudes living in our oceans called crabs, and their claws look just like yours. We eat them because they’re delicious.”

IF YOU SO MUCH AS THINK ABOUT EATING A CRAB, I WILL TAKE OVER AND MAKE YOU EAT HOT GARBAGE.

Dave’s hand was back to normal now, and he flexed and wiggled his fingers. “You’d probably enjoy eating hot garbage. You’re fucking weird, man.” He only half listened as Karkat went on a lengthy train of thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey girls and gays this was a suggestion from my friend Ray. Check out the first chapter if you'd like to submit a prompt in the reviews. Until next time~


	3. Dave Makes a Dildo. Oops

Dave was standing in front of the Alchemiter with a completely straight face. Rose was off with Kanaya, mercifully sober for once but resolute in her insistence it was not yet a problem nor would it ever be. Terezi was somewhere. Weird clown guy was away (hopefully). The Mayor and Karkat were drawing. For once, Dave was alone on the meteor. It was time to rake in the sweet loot. 

He had been experimenting with what combinations implied what and how the input would alter the creation. In layman’s terms, he was dicking around and keysmashing. So far, his experiments had resulted in one (1) boxset of the Kevin Sorbo Hercules series, one (1) pig fetus in a jar, one (1) half chewed piece of green chalk, and….

One large dildo. Just, like, sort of chilling there. 

He double checked the code he input, even though he didn’t know what he was putting in. He then looked again at the dildo, confirming that it was, indeed, a dildo. 

“What’s up, fucker?”

“Hey Karkat,” Dave said calmly, turning around fast enough for his cape to swoosh so he could hide the aforementioned dildo behind his back. 

He stopped and squinted at Dave. “What did you do.”

“I’ve never done anything in my life.”

Karkat nudged him to the side and was now face to face with the dildo Dave had tried so desperately to shield from his eyes. “What’s that?”

Dave found himself standing at a crossroads. He could tell the cute troll in front of him that the phallic symbol before them was a dildo, a sex toy, something used by humans for sexual pleasure. Or he could have a great time. 

“This is a human Bible.”

“What the fuck is a Bible?”

“What, you guys don’t have, like, religion or something?”

“Of course we have religion, everyone has religion, I think the fucking Mayor has religion. With fucking can gods or something, I don’t know.”

“Okay cool, so yeah, the Bible is about this bro, Jesus, and he like, preaches equality or something, I don’t really know one hundred percent-”

“You don’t know your own human religion?”

“We had more than one religion, and Bro was like, a pseudo porn star, so we didn’t go to church. Anyway, this tells about how he taught everyone and then how he was killed and resurrected. Yeah. Stuff like that.”

“Do you read it? It doesn’t have pages.”

And that’s when his day went from good… To great. “You know what, man? I don’t know. I bet Rose does, though. You should ask her.”

“Why don’t you ask her?”

“Bro, will you keep a secret?”

Karkat looked at him and raised his eyebrow. “Why?”

“Will you?”

“... Fine.”

“I’m deathly afraid of vampires, and Kanaya is just the troll version of a vampire.”

Dave kept his best poker face. He was so close. So desperately close. Karkat searched his blank face and finally said, “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Karkat grabbed the dildo and left the room, and Dave’s gut hurt from holding back laughter. He heard a roar of laughter, a loud Karkat’s-gonna-have-a-tantrum screech, and Rose calling, “Dave, is there anything you’d like to tell me?!”

Dave fell over with laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was for a buddy of mine. If there's a prompt you'd like to see, please comment it. Until next time~


	4. Vrisrezi School Project

Vriska caught Terezi’s wide grin when their teacher announced their next project. It was about the solar system, and they would be splitting into groups of four to complete it. “Let’s get Kanaya and Karkat,” Vriska whispered. Kanaya would take on most of the work just by nature, and she had a weird affinity for outer space. Plus, Karkat worked well with her, as she was the only person who wouldn’t completely flip shit on. 

As it turned out, Kanaya and Karkat were both taken already. “Sorry,” Kanaya shrugged. “We’re working with Dave and Rose. Besides, I don’t want to do all the work for you two.”

“That’s not fair,” Terezi said. While Vriska planned to do absolutely nothing but help present, Terezi at least cared about her academics and would help put everything together. 

Their next choice was Aradia and Tavros. Well, Vriska kind of hated Aradia and the feeling was more than mutual, but she adored bothering Tavros and Terezi worked well with Aradia. 

“No,” she deadpanned when Terezi asked. 

“What? But it’s just you and Tavros!” Vriska spluttered.

“Hey Sollux?”

The scrawny fuck looked up. “Yeah?”

“Wanna work with me and Tavros?”

“Yeah. Can Ff join?”

“Of course!” And so Sollux and Feferi joined their group, leaving Eridan heartbroken and Terezi and Vriska high and dry.

Vriska suggested John, and Terezi begrudgingly agreed,conceding only because he was helpful. “Sorry guys,” he said apologetically. “I’m working with Jade, Equius, and Nepeta.” Dammit. That was a dream team. 

“Who are we left with?” Terezi asked. Vriska scanned the room. Eridan was sulking near Feferi, and ew hell no, while Gamzee was at his desk with a dazed expression on his face. They both gagged at the available options. 

So they wound up working alone, as they were so prone to doing. They slept over at each others houses, pasting troll Sailor Moon cut outs over different planets for their solar system. They each drew pictures of their FLARP characters (a space pirate and a dragon tamer of justice) on the corners and covered the poster in gross amounts of glitter. Their paper was written in glitter gel pens and during their presentation they pretended to be their characters. This culminated in an epic ending where Terezi’s character had stabbed Vriska’s in the back for the multiple atrocities and war crimes she had committed against the peoples of the solar system. John was tearing up in the back. 

They got the highest grade in the class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember: if you want me to write something, please leave a comment. I'm more than happy to.


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